When you're working long hours in close quarters you learn things about your co-workers in the course of normal conversation and chit-chat. I enjoy these conversations for the most part, although I'm not much of a chatter because I generally can't do that and concentrate on what I'm doing. I don't mind if people want to share stuff with me but I've never been one of those people who shares every intimate detail of my life with the people I work with. I guess I just prefer to keep some separation there -- that's just me.
I've mentioned before how filling prescriptions gives you a bit of a 'window' into people's lives. It's happened to me several times --- I've been working with someone and am impressed (maybe even a little envious) of how 'together' they are --- attractive, smart, personable --- then, I have the occasion to check one of their prescription refills, and I'm looking at a whoppin' dose of Prozac along with a healthy helping of Xanax or lorazepam on the side. Don't get me wrong -- it doesn't change how I think of them and I would NEVER comment in any way on someone's prescription --- but it reminds me that life often isn't as smooth as it appears.
I guess where I'm going with this is that the lives of some of my co-workers seem to be imploding --- divorces, child custody and financial issues being the primary issues. I just read an article entitled "Growing Up is Taking Longer, Economically and Socially." I think it's true. When I hear of someone getting married in their early 20's, I know that the chances of that marriage lasting are not good at all. It particularly bothers me when there are young children involved -- I SO wish people wouldn't have kids when their lives are unstable; I wish they wouldn't think having a baby is like getting a puppy --- but I digress.
I just feel like I'm surrounded by stories of people behaving badly and irresponsibly. People who just don't have a mature foundation and who want to walk away from their responsibilities with no consequences. Everyone encounters some misfortune in their life, but these kinds of things are "eyes wide open" situations that I think could have been averted.
It just bothers me, I guess. I've got the advantage of a few years over them. I'm a pretty practical person to begin with. All I can really do is offer sympathy and listen. I come home from work unsettled, though. Kind of a squishy post here, but it's something I've been thinking about for awhile.
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3 comments:
I used to think I was the crazy one because I get upset and yell sometimes or cry too often some weeks. I learned through therapy that that I am pretty normal. In my unmedicated state I am just normal. Sometimes and often in many cases what you see on the outside..that normal, is not.
The things I feel are normal, the way I show them, normal. What a relief. The way I can name my emotions these days is wonderful and I feel empowered.
Now I'm not judging those people who are medicated. That is their choice to make. I choose not to be medicated, and I am okay with my brand of normal.
My best friend was a man whore in college. And I mean that in the nicest way possible (he admits it too) but it was strange to see him with a girl longer than a month.
Eventually he did find someone to date and about a year ago he asked me when I knew when I wanted to marry my wife and such.
What I told him was that you have to realize that relationships are never smooth. There will be great lows to go with the great highs. You will yell, you will get pissed off and you will want to run away.
But what you realize is that even after your big argument, even after you yell, there's still nowhere else in the world you would want to be than right next to them. THAT's when you know you want to marry them, when you can fight through something like that.
My generation is fascinated with instant gratification with minimal effort. I find it rather sad personally, but then again I find a lot of things about people sad.
I am having this trouble and it is really difficult, they talk to me as their boss, but I am 30 years younger than them so i dont know what to say.
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